I always wondered why parents dress their twins with the same clothes? And if I would have twins, I would most probably be doing the same thing…at least for the first year of their life.
I would have been proud to have twins, it is cute and it gains respect from others, so having twins wearing the same clothes would be a status symbol, to let the outside world know we are the parents of the twins. When the twins are small and they are wearing the same clothes, it would always call attention, and the mother can be proud for the kids and her own work. Most of the parents are happy if they get a compliment and of course they are boasting sometimes. We can see on the street, when parents with twins get a compliment because the whole world can see that they are wearing the same outfit; they are twins, and they are the parents. You know I would have done exactly the same thing for the first year or two.
But then, something changes.
Their personality comes out, and as a parent I would feel that they are different. And the most important thing will be to show their differences. The parents’ task will be to understand them, feel them, and refect their difference through clothing.
So, if you decide to dress them in the same way when they are babies, don’t do that later when they have grown older.
Around 3-4 years, try to separate them even through clothing.
But What Does the Professionals Say
First of all, they say, don’t do that!
Because: if the twins are dressed the same way, people usually see them as one and not as two separate individuals. Variating clothes might help friends, teachers, or other members of the family to differentiate them from each other. Every human being has his own personality, interests, and talents. Just like twins. Although people think they are similar in the outside, they are so different in the inside. If you dress them similarly, that has an effect on the development of their personality. Fortunately, the kids’ personality is worth more than their clothing.
The parents have to take care of their twin’s personality. And yes, take time and buy different clothes, but sometimes it could happen that they get the same jumper from their grandma, or from friends. There is no problem if they are wearing the same things sometimes, but only sometimes.
Emphasizing the Similar is a Way to Unhappiness
Twins have to deal with the fact that they look the same, almost everybody can’t tell one from the other, people don’t know which is which, and mixing their names and personalities in kindergarten, school, and maybe sometimes in their own family too. People call them “TWINS,” not by their own names; they are handled as one or a part of a team, not as individuals.
Categorizing them that way prevents their endowments and capabilities to emerge, which affects both their school life and their personal life negatively.
- Always treat them as free individuals, explore their individual personality, see the two as separate units, who are interested in different things, and develop in different rhythms. You can see these differences around one and a half years old, so try to anticipate their individual needs.
- Buy different clothes for them. When they are bigger, you can ask their opinion about it.
- Give them a separate place to play, buy different games.
- From the age of 3-4, encourage them to create their own circle of friends. If it is possible, don’t put them in the same kindergarten team, or school team. All the time, it’s very important to confirm their identity.
Sooner or later, they will find their own personality; it is up to you how much you can help them. They will emerge in their inner world and they will be able to stay as a mirror to each other, and they will additionally reinforce each other’s identity.